When i don't know what to write. Thats a bad sign surley i would have something to say. Exams, Exams are taunting me and harrasing me untill i revise . guess i all i have to say is "Go away exams" but i know they wont listen. I would love to write a letter to the exam paper (yes the A4 booklet) telling it that i really hate it; if i do this i will get a U for it. Well that is okay if i want my grades to spell the word unicorn , then that is fantstic. I'd like to tell it to stop ruining my life and  to stop making me obsessivley panicky. I would also like to tell the exam paper that   i don't really like the black ink and the white paper and i would strongly reccomend that it's words should be printed in orange becasue that colour is totally awesome if you are a baked bean fanatic or if you love the colour orange like i doand the colour of the paper should be purple! Why? because that would be so legendary and would make my dreams come true well it would if i actually dreamt of purple paper and orange ink,i have better things to dream of.
Life, life sometimes i actually think what is the point when everything good you have is ruined by everyone else and this as been going on too long.  Every body changes the meaning of life to make it about sucsessand money and education . Do we need this to have a sucsessful society, well for one i think i-pods are the purpose of life.Joking seriously there really must be more to life than a job, exam and anything else that put any form of stress on us and temporarily ruines our life.
Life somthing you cant let other ruin!

The End.

Everything will stop beathing,
Everything will stop living,
Everything will be different,
It will be somthing i don't want,
I want the past ,
the good times too last,
and i don't want to start all over again.

Everything spins closer and closer to the end 18 school days to go. I can't leave school I'm only fifteen! Everyone else is ready and excited. I'm not ready, I'm panickstricken i actually don't know what to do. Everybody finds it easy, their not really bothered. I hate people ending chapters of my life for me why do we only have to be legally allowed to stay 5 years in secondary school  ? Why not 6. If i had an extra year i would have done better in my exams, If i had an extra year i would be old enough to leave school and be sensible, If i had an extra year,it would save me from failing at A-level.

September gotta start over again, new friends, new life, new courses.
Who says "New" is good ? A new phone can be rubbish, new jam can be mouldy so i think new stuff is stupid.
"Old " says routine and saftey and being safe from attack or drinkdriving sixthformers.

18 days to go everyone needs to remember we arre not talking about Christmas but the rest of our lives.

Time, where does it go ?

Every day flasheds by,

 i never saw it ,

thought it was a lie.

Every thing is spinning.
Spinning closer and closer to the end.
yesterday was saturday,

 i was having a fab day,

now it is thursday,

where did this week go.

Every time i shut my eyes,

i awaken the next week ,

the sudden realisation of where have i been?

Where was i?

I was caught in a daydream or was it my life the day that you were mean,

and didn't stab me with a knife.

Every thing orbits me way too fast.

i want to stop ,
i'm not ready to live my life.

My 'A'

Too big.

Too complicated.

So hard to comprehend,

but i'm still fighting for my 'A'.

Although i know that it will slip away.

This is all i've ever wanted,

something that i will never get.

I know that i'll never forget how much i want this.

This is too hard to fight for when i'm losing.
But i'm fighting.
Hoping , Dreaming that it will go my way.

Or will this be that shattered dream that taunts me in the night,
making me wish that i had  won the battle and the fight,

The shattered dream i'm trying to fix before it becomes brocken.

living in the real world

Every thing i want for my future is slipping away,
the future is in my hands but  i am not controlling it,
Who is ?
I wish and i dream that every thing will turn out okay,
it never does.
This is the final push ,
This is almost the end,
and the beginning of a new chapter,
each new chapter never starts well,
it starts like Hell.
Every night i wish and dream of actually doing something with my life,
every morning i wake up,

I look in the mirror and go Naaaah that won't be me.

The 12 th jan one big 12 hour day of panic

 I arrive cold and shivering to the school gates although its  not cold.  Today is the day i do my german exam , attend a boring  yr 11 ball committee and parents evening and i will find out wether i have got the grades i need for sceince to scrape the only "A" i could ever get in my whole life . I want this A so bad but i wont get it . In my dream last night i got A* and i was well chuffed till i woke up and realised that it was a dream.
Butteflys have been fluttering in my stomach since this time last week even then i was still panicing about today.

10 AM German exam.
I drag my self to the exam room, a  room with glass doors in the school library .All the year 7 who are doing reading will be able to watch me fail at my life, thats gonna really help *NOT* .I'm struggling to breathe. I feel sick .  "Danni can we start the exam now" says the teacher watching me having a panic attack. I try to find some breath so i can scream" NO!" Eventually i aggreed that we should begin this speaking exam . Quite a lot of these questions made my mind go blank, the easy things i knew i forgot, Good times hey ,overall it went ok .


5:15 Parents evening sceince appointment
I wait nervously for my sceince teacher to call me over.My legs shaking and almost panicing as much as my german exam this morning. I'm trying to breathe but i'm making odd noises instead of taking air in .
He waves at me and my parents.I sat down ."Danni, do you want to know the bad news" at this point i'm dreading what he is going to say. in my head i'm screaming "NO!", "What is it " i say hesitantly dreading what he's about to say."There is none" he says smiling, don't get me worried like that. He reveals that on one paper i got 1 mark off an A , chemistry 2nd paper got 3 marks off an A thats ok considering i thought i would fail, and on my course work i got a middle B so im averaging  a B, NOOOO I'LL NEVER GET an A! If i were to get A*'s on the next to paper then i would get a A over all aaaaah i'm not even gonna get one A thats so deppressing some thing i could had slipped through my hands .

Enough of this deppressing news , No offence to all readers that  get lower grades than me your grades are still good but i just wanna prove teacher that i'm smarter than they think.

Average is so boring

Plain and boring , nothing interesting or exiting about me. average grades, average life, i look even averager with my school uniform on. I'm another dull student who walks through the school gates everyday ,  who nobody knows or remembers my name. Friends that ignor me and being surrounded by perfect people makes me feel like rubbish. No one cares how i'm doing ,No one  cares about me. Every one else is so perfect and so nice, they are good at stuff,and have friends that don't lie ,they stand out and they are wanted unlike me. Average Average Average... Plain and Boring  when i leave next year no one will remember me i'll be forgotten. Year 11 ball will come up. Soon.  Populars in the perfect personally designed dresses for them. The not so populars will go in dresses from new look and i'll go in my hoodie and wear converses with my dress. A post on facebook: "do you know what you're wearing for prom "
"No but obviously not a t-shirt and a hoodie" HA HA Ha i'm gonna look like a fail well at least ill actually get my picture in the paper even if it is for being the worst dressed.

Miss: oh  year book committee and ball committee will start after Christmas for any year 11 students"- Like any ones gonna  let me in that.

AAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhh ! By Little Miss Average :)